CHAPTER 38

LETTERS…I GET LETTERS

 

          Letters, I get letters.  It seems like every time I give a speech or seminar or appear on TV or a radio talk show, I get letters.  I am going to share a few of these letters with you, but for obvious reasons, am omitting the names.

 

LETTERS FROM MY NEWSPAPER COLUMN: 

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I have read that hypnosis can help people that have phobias of all kinds.  My problem is that I have a fear of flying and a fear of high places.  I am eighteen years old and I would like to be a commercial airline pilot or an astronaut.

                                                            Signed,

                    Junior Astronaut

                                                           

Dear Junior Astronaut,

          Your fear of flying and high places may go back to an uncomfortable incident in your life that was closely related to high places, or it may not even be related to high places or airplanes.  The way to solve this problem would be to go back in your Memory Bank or Subconscious and find out when all this started and what the related or unrelated fears were at the time.

          I had a similar case where a young pilot had developed a fear of flying his private aircraft at high altitudes, but the fear did not exist while he flew his plane at low altitudes.  We discussed all the events surrounding the few days before and the time he first experienced the problem.

          It had happened like this: One day, he was flying at approximately fifteen thousand feet and he looked down at the ground and became very frightened and scared.  He landed at the nearest airport, rested for a few hours and tried it again.  As long as he flew low, he did not have this problem.  This became very worrisome to him, because he could not always fly at low altitudes.

          I asked the young pilot to go back in time and tell me when he first remembered having a similar fear.  I waited for a few moments and he raised his finger, indicating that he was at the time and place where a similar fear existed.  I asked him to remain calm and tell me exactly where he was and what was happening.  He remembered that he had gone to a movie with his father and older brother to see a special science fiction feature and had become frightened at what he had seen.  I could see no connection between the movie and the existing fear, and I asked him to tell me some of the things that he remembered about the movie.  He mentioned several unreal-looking creatures and the presence of wavy lines and unusual shapes and lights, obviously created by the movie producers for effect.

          After additional questioning and probing for answers, it was obvious that when the young pilot was flying at about 15,000 feet one day, he looked down at the ground and saw similar lines and shapes on the ground and it triggered the fear that he had experienced that day at the movie.  He had become so frightened that his father and brother had to leave the movie with him, before it ended.

          He later discussed the situation with his father.  His father confirmed the fact that this situation did happen.  When the pilot saw that his fears had nothing to do with flying itself, he overcame his fear of flying at high altitudes.

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I have a teenage son that, until recently, was a very good student in school.  During the last few weeks, his grades have dropped to nil and he has no interest in school.  I have received calls from the school, telling me that he has been cutting class.  On many days, he does not even show up at the school.  Can hypnosis help my boy?

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Frustrated Parent

Dear Frustrated Parent,

          I work with many children and it is very easy to locate problem areas and help children deal with existing situations in life.

          Very often, young boys and every once in a while, a young girl will be harassed by a fellow schoolmate and the child will not tell his parents or the teachers.  About seven out of ten that I see, below the age of 15, have that particular problem.

          All you have to do is ask in a kind, point-blank manner, if someone is bothering him at school or on the way to school.  A familiar situation in today’s school society is the case of extortion, commonly called the protection racket.  One student will demand payment from another, using the threat of violence.

          Usually the person who is doing the threatening is the child that is having the most problems.  That student is usually absent a lot.  That student is usually not living with his parents.  That student is the person who generally needs the most help.

          If your son will not talk to you about the situation, do not despair.  A competent, reputable hypnotist will find it very easy to get the young man to give his gut feelings under hypnosis.  At this time, when the situation is out in the open, you will be better able to deal with it in a satisfactory manner.

          The one major point I will stress here is for the schools to develop programs to teach the students to have self-worth.  Let’s teach our children that they are somebody important.  Let’s teach them that they do not have to be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused.  Let’s teach them that they must be Number One with themselves. This would have a tremendous, positive effect on the system.

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I have been smoking for about 35 years and the other day, my doctor insisted that I stop smoking.  He gave me the ultimatum that if I wanted to live much longer, I was going to have to quit smoking.  I can go without the cigarettes for about 3 hours and then, I feel like I am going to die if I don’t get a cigarette.  I get nervous and jittery and I pick up the cigarettes again.  Will hypnosis help? 

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Nervous Smoker

Dear Nervous Smoker,

          Smoking is not your problem.  Smoking cannot relax you.  It is the “thought” of smoking that relaxes you, momentarily.  A perfectly relaxed and in-control person can put down his cigarettes and simply quit.  If you allow your Subconscious to control you, however, you will never quit.  If you take control of your Subconscious and tell it what to do, you will find it very easy to quit.

          If you will follow these simple instructions, smoking will become a part of your past. And, as I have said in previous columns, the Past does not exist, so you might as well let bygones be bygones.

STOP SMOKING PROCEDURE:

          Set aside about 5 minutes twice a day and take a comfortable position in an easy chair.  It is very important to be in a quiet room. You might go through this procedure right before going to bed and again, right after waking up in the morning.

          For about 30 seconds, repeat your first name and the word, “relax.” Example: “Tom, relax. Tom, relax. Tom, relax. Tom, relax.”  If you are doing this exercise at night, every few moments you must tell yourself that you will not go to sleep until you have finished giving yourself the “no-smoking” instructions.

          After you have relaxed yourself, repeat the following, “I no longer smoke and I am relaxed, not smoking.”  Repeat this statement about 5 to 10 times.  During the day, if you feel like having a cigarette, say in your mind, the same statement: “I no longer smoke and I am relaxed, not smoking.”  This reinforces for the Subconscious Mind that you are a relaxed, healthy, happy non-smoker.

          As you may remember from previous information that has been in this column, that feeling for a cigarette was not a feeling for a cigarette.  It was an uncomfortable feeling, as a result of your seeing only the negative side of a situation.  All that has changed now!

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          Several months back, I read a newspaper article where you said you could cure a football player that had been paralyzed from the neck down.  Either you are God or you are a quack.

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Mad Sports Fan

 

Dear Mad Sports Fan,

          I am not God.  I am not a doctor and I am not a quack.  I heal no one.  I can only heal myself.  You have the same power.  You, and only you, control your Subconscious and your Subconscious controls your body.

          I can show an injured football player or anyone else how to control the body functions through the Subconscious, thereby returning to perfect health.

          By the way, the term “quack” comes from a gentleman by the last name of Quack, who pretended to be a real Medical Doctor.

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          My sister has cancer and the doctors are using “bio-feedback” in her cancer therapy program.  What is biofeedback and will it do her any good?

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Curious Sister        

 

Dear Curious Sister,

          To explain “biofeedback” in everyday language, I will tell you that during the biofeedback process, the subject learns to relax his or her body to the point that a change in minute electrical impulses from the body can be recorded on a machine.  The object is to reduce the number of electrical impulses produced by the body, thereby producing relaxation. The reduction of electrical impulses is, then, the gauge.

          Biofeedback has its advantages.  The person can learn to relax and relaxation is the name of the game.  When a person is totally relaxed, his chances of returning to perfect health are greatly increased.

          However, it is not necessary to be hooked up to a biofeedback machine, in order to learn to relax.  It would be a little ridiculous if everyone went around with little electrodes taped to their foreheads.

          Total relaxation can be easily learned and achieved.  The difference between biofeedback and controlling the body with simple thought is that if you are going to go into this super-relaxed state, you might as well give commands to your body.  When a person is in this relaxed, suggestible state and commands the body, as though the change has already happened, then the body makes the change and is able to achieve perfect health again, regardless of what the illness is.  It has been proven time and time again, that we can control our body functions.

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          My sister lives in Los Angeles and has been going to a hypnotist to help her overcome her fear of driving.  To me, it sounds foolish that she has a fear of driving, because when we were in college together, she used to do all of the driving when we would go somewhere.  But, she had a minor automobile accident about 2 years ago and hasn’t driven since.  I have talked to her about it and pointed out that she has had accidents before, minor ones also, but now, she is afraid of driving.  How is the hypnosis going to help her from being afraid?

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Concerned Sister

 

Dear Concerned Sister,

          As in all of my answers to questions such as this, I must say that I, personally, have not had the chance to probe her Subconscious to find the answer.  It is very likely that she was being bothered by something else on the day that she had the accident, and her fear of driving may be the Subconscious Mind’s way of warning her that the same uncomfortable conditions or the thoughts of the uncomfortable situation will arise.

          I had a similar case in my office.  A young lady, in her 20’s, came to me because of a fear of driving.  She was engaged to a young Air Force helicopter pilot. A few days before she was involved in a minor car accident, she had heard that her betrothed was reported “missing in action.”  We discussed her driving and the accident and all the things that had happened around the time of the accident.  During our discussion, she never mentioned the situation with her fiancée.  However, once we started into the hypnosis, it was soon apparent that there was no real associated reason for her fear of driving.  When she understood this, her fear of driving soon faded.  Through the aid of hypnosis, she learned not to worry about something that she could do nothing about, even she loved her fiancée very much and was hopeful for his safety.

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I would like to know if hypnosis can cure a person from talking in his sleep.  About 6 months ago, I was not getting along very well with my wife.  I had a very turbulent, but brief affair with my secretary.  I realize now that it was a mistake, but I find myself dreaming about some of the experiences that I had during the affair.  I have been known to talk in my sleep and I do not want my wife to find out about the situation with my secretary.  My wife and I are getting along very well now and I do not want to spoil a good relationship.  I also find myself not wanting to go to sleep at night, for fear that I will say something that I shouldn’t.

                                                            Signed,

                                                            Sleep Talker

 

Dear Sleep Talker,

Obviously, for you, silence is golden.  It would be foolish to admit your mistake to your wife, regardless of how you told her.  Many people will agree with me on that point and others will not. 

There is little to be known about dreams.  And, anyone that tells you that dreams are important, is just “blowing smoke.”  Your dreams are a result of an over-reactive Subconscious.  The Subconscious produces illogical and random thoughts during sleep and the information can only come from that information which is stored in the Memory Bank.  The Subconscious is trained to send forward information that it, at present, does not yet have an answer for.  You were trained to want to know WHY, and if the Subconscious has negatives stored that it does not understand, it will continue to send you those thoughts, possibly in the form of dreams.  Because of the way you were trained, the Subconscious is just looking for answers. 

Simply explain to yourself that the affair is part of your Past and that the Past does not exist.  Explain to yourself that you do not talk in your sleep anymore and your fears will go away.  The Subconscious Mind attempts to fulfill your suggestions.  Also, before you go off to sleep, tell yourself that you dream only happy dreams and that you are happy and in love with your wife.

 

 Dear Tom Ray,

          I am going to graduate from high school in June and I would like to enter the field of hypnosis and become a hypnotherapist.  What should I do to prepare myself to become a hypnotherapist?

                                                            Signed,

                                        Young, Aspiring Hypnotist

                                                           

Dear Young, Aspiring Hypnotist,

          You should first get yourself a well-rounded college education.  And, it would be even better to get a Master’s Degree in some field.  It makes no difference what you get your degree in, except that you should crank in a few behavioral science courses. Work at a variety of jobs, so that you can learn about people and how they react.  The selling field is excellent for that purpose.  Marry and have a child or two.  The whole idea is to experience life a little, so when you are talking with someone, you can relate to common experiences.

          After you have struggled out there in the world a few years, won some, lost some, possibly gone through the military and a variety of other situations and, in general, have lost your “wetness behind the ears,” come to me and I will teach you how to be a hypnotherapist.  While you are doing all those things, you should save your money, because I am going to charge to teach you!

 

LETTERS FROM MY RADIO TALK SHOW LISTENERS

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          This morning, when you asked us to write a letter on a card, a piece of paper, a part of our shirt, newspapers, “anything,” you convinced me to do it today.  Fortunately, every Sunday morning, I have an opportunity to listen to you.  My husband, our two children, and myself, throw a large paper route and I look forward to hearing your program.

          Since I have started listening to you, many of the doors to my Subconscious have been opened.  Now, as I look back, I have always had the key, but I didn’t know how to open the doors with it.  Last New Year’s Eve, I quit smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.  The way I quit this endless habit was through my Subconscious, as you explained on Sunday.  Now that I know I can channel all my thoughts and energy to many good and positive changes, I will do so.

          Once again, I look forward to and enjoy your program.  On behalf of all your listeners, I would like to thank you for your care and your time.

 

                                                  Signed,

                                                  Newspaper Lady

Dear Tom Ray,

          I just “happened” to tune in to your program this a.m. and feel that an unknown force guided me to turn the dial at that moment.

          The subconscious and the unknown have always been subjects of great interest to me.  I’ve been studying the subconscious and I do have some understanding of the subconscious; however, I have yet to learn how to manipulate the subconscious and how to surface my specific problems which are implanted so deep into my subconscious.  I have yet to learn how to relax, which of course, is probably the first and most important step to begin the transition.  As a result of being unable to relax, my entire back area is in constant pain from tension.  Also, my conscious mind tells me I’d like to quit smoking, but my subconscious mind doesn’t get the message.

          I don’t know anything about you, but I do know that your radio program was of great interest to me and I’m asking for your help.  Not only for myself, but to teach my children at their young age before any negative concepts are allowed to be buried into their subconscious.  And what better way to “spread the word” than by good example.

          Please send me a tape or any brochure to steer me in the right direction.  I have a good feeling that you can be of help.

                                                            Signed,

                                                            Uptight Dad

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I heard your broadcast this morning, for the first time in my life and I have never agreed with anyone more.  Instead of thinking negative, I will from this day forward, think positive.  I will start to teach my three sons the same meaning: whatever you feed the subconscious mind, it will accept.  At the present time, my husband and I are in a situation that through your teachings, we are going to lick, mentally and physically.  Because I know we are, if we feed our subconscious minds the good things.  He doesn’t have a job now. But he will get that job he seeks.  We can’t pay our debts now, but we will.

          Please send me any brochures or literature that I might be able to think positive.  I feel great, fantastic, wonderful, and I am rich.

                                                            Signed,

                                                            Mrs. Rich

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          First of all, thank you for your show.  I listen every Sunday morning.  The information you have to offer is valuable to me, not only for myself, but it helps me with others, to understand and to relate to them.  The first thing that hit home was your very first show on allergies.  My sister-in-law who is 14 and lives at home with her parents has some problems with them that I think are of that nature.  For one, she has asthma.  When they lived in L.A. one summer, her parents let her stay with an aunt in Arizona, during which time she had no allergy problems.  I think a good possibility that it was from not having the influence of her parents, who, by the way, get sick (colds and stuff) at the drop of a hat.  So, they associated her good health to Arizona, and transferred that idea to her.  They moved to Arizona, and she has been better.  Although they go back to L.A. frequently (four or five times a year) she still had no problems.  One time, we went to visit them for two weeks.  My sister-in-law had some kind of ear trouble and saw a doctor.  She had a small rupture in her eardrum.  The thing that upset me was when I asked her to get me something out of the refrigerator, she said, “I can’t.  My mother told me to stay away from it.”  I said, “Why?”  She returned with, “Because cold air comes out of it and I could catch a cold.”  I could have screamed!  The thing is, what could I possibly say to her parents to let them know what they are doing to this girl?  She’s really beautiful and has so much potential and I see it being suppressed under her parents’ over-protective wings.  Any suggestions?

          P.S.  I would like all of your booklets from day 1 and the relaxation tape please...Keep up the good programs.

                                        Signed,

                                        Concerned Sister-in-Law

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I started hearing your program about a month ago.  I am 16 years old. And I am fine, Thanks to God.  And I do believe in God.  I was brought up in Church.  And I have always been a sick girl (health).  When it’s not my earache, it’s a toothache or a cold.  And when you said that when you feel sick, you should say, “I am fine.” (present tense) not, “I will be fine.” (future tense).

          So, that morning, I had a bad cold.  My eyes and head hurt.  I had a stuffed-up nose, sore throat, and was sneezing.  And at the same time, I had an earache.  So then I prayed, and took your advice of telling myself I was fine.  I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “I feel fine.  There is no pain in me at this moment.”  I kept saying this for a couple of minutes.  Then about 30 minutes later, I felt perfectly fine.  No more pain!  Of course, a sneeze, here and there.  But, absolutely no pain.  From that day on, whenever I get a toothache or something that makes me feel bad, I just say that I feel fine.  And, it works!

                                                            Signed,

                                                            16 Year Old

 

Dear Sir:

          I don’t often listen to the radio, but last Sunday, I was searching for a good religious or educational program.  Fortunately, I happened on the Tom Ray discussion on controlling emotions/actions/ performance through the suggestions to the subconscious mind.

          I greatly benefited by Tom’s teaching and commend your radio management for an excellent and helpful program.  Please keep Tom Ray on your station and I will keep listening (with gratitude).  Does he have a book or any written material we can get?

          I completed a course in autohypnosis four years ago, taught by a Ph.D. in clinical psychology.  Tom’s explanations refreshed my memory and expanded the subject matter in a clear style.

Thanks.

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Seldom Listener

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I’ve written earlier, requesting the information you offered and am so pleased with the results, so far, of actually changing my thinking to change my life.  I just had to write a progress report.

          Mine is probably as typical a situation as exists today among divorced women with a family to support.  I have been scared to death (past tense now) letting my fears of rejection and failure foster and control my ability to function and succeed in all areas of my life.  My financial situation has really been in a strain.  My former husband, being a successful businessman with his own set of values, hired a lawyer to limit the child support payments to twelve months (two years ago) in the actual legal divorce decree, stating any prolonged legal binding agreement could affect his business corporation and that he would continue the support just between us.  I told myself that twelve months of legal support would give me time enough to balance out my income, along with the total emotional adjustment.  After 12 months, since I did not know how to succeed, my income still needed the monthly support.  Once the legal twelve months ended, any support was a result of threats, bribes, and a desire to have yet another “mistress” because I “owed it to him.”  Since last December, my life has been unbelievable.  Behind all my pain and frustration was fear I could not seem to get rid of, until I happened to tune your program in the first Sunday morning you spoke over the radio.

          Using your suggestions, I recently acquired a second job in sales, part-time, in addition to managing an insurance brokerage office during the day, and am confident my additional income will deliver me from the unfortunate situation.  Thank you once again for your help.

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Divorced Mom

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          It is so refreshing to hear someone taking the time to tell fellow human beings how to learn to control body functions!  So often we hear only that one should do or not do this or that, but not how to.

          Thank you for caring!

          Are your past radio programs taped?  They are priceless. You really have sense, and your instructions do work.  I’m amazed and very grateful.

                                                            Signed,

                                        Amazed and Grateful

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I am a first year medical student at the Medical School here in San Antonio.  I am not normally up at 7:30 on Sunday morning, but I got up this morning to study for a test.  I know that from now on, I am going to start listening to the radio on Sunday morning.

          I am very interested in what you are saying and all that you have to offer, for I would like to try to incorporate your techniques into my practice someday.

                                                            Signed,

                                                  Medical Student

 

Dear Tom Ray,

I’m 13 years old, and I’d like to tell you that I really enjoy your program, and I hope you get to stay on the air.  Last week, you had a really good talk on the subconscious mind.  I thought about it a while and I agree fully that people can lead a much happier life if they would just think positive.

          Anyway, I hope they don’t take you off the air, because I think it’s doing a lot of people a lot of good!

          Thank you for being there.  Good luck and I’m going to keep listening.

                                                  Signed,

                                                  Young Student

 

Dear Tom Ray,

          I heard your radio program this morning for the first time and I felt the urge to write to you.  I will say I enjoyed what you had to say.

          I have read a lot and studied about the subconscious mind, but as of today, I have not found a solution to my problem.  Perhaps you can help me.

          I had a thyroidectomy in 1954 and, since before that, as far back as 1941, my sleep patterns changed so drastically, I have not been able to sleep a free night in many years without medication.

 I have been to and am still going to a psychiatrist and have been going for years.  They have no answers, but they all agree that I am manic-depressive and give me medication that does not help, most of the time. 

I am doing good if I sleep 16 hours a week.  I know there must be an answer to my problem and perhaps you can help me.

          This problem has persisted so long, it does make me depressive about it and I know the answer lies in my subconscious mind, but bringing it up front to where I can look at it, is something else and I’m in hopes you can help me with this.  I’ve told myself many times, it’s all in my mind, but I have not been able to deal with it, myself.

          I would like to have the first chapter to your book.  In fact, I would like to have the whole book and the steps as to how to get to the subconscious mind.

          I feel that you can help me because of your understanding.  I would certainly appreciate your relaxation tape.  I think it would be of help to me.

          Keep up your wonderful, worthwhile efforts and work.  There just isn’t enough understanding of the mind, even today.

                                                            Signed,

                                                            Sleepless

Dear Tom Ray,

          I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I wrote to you last week.  I received your first chapter in the mail yesterday, and I have to admit, I was surprised. I wasn’t too sure you’d have time to write.  I enjoyed the chapter a lot.

          This morning I got up late, and I only caught the last twenty minutes of your program.  I agree that to have someone do what you want them to do, you have to let them know you appreciate them, but not what they’re doing.  My parents have always told me when I did something wrong, that it was very wrong, and they (only my dad) were pretty mad.  My dad likes to yell, and he really lays it on me.  I can’t stand to be around him, and I wouldn’t ever talk to him if I were having problems.  I’ve tried before, but he doesn’t care about anything that happens and he doesn’t listen.

          I wanted to ask you something.  I have a problem when I’m talking.  I have a habit of talking too fast and, consequently, I slur my words.  I’m doing a Christmas program at my church, and, unfortunately, I ended up playing the part of Mary.  I know I’m going to have trouble, because during rehearsal, everyone keeps reminding me to speak up and slow down.  I wouldn’t know how to correct myself, because I don’t hear myself the way other people hear me.  If you have the time, could you please write to me and give me some advice?  You don’t know how much I’d appreciate it!

          Thank you for your time and patience.

                                                            Signed,

                                                            Fast Talker

Dear Tom Ray,

          My husband and I really do enjoy your program on Sunday morning.  I only wish it were for a longer period of time.

          The very first time I heard you speak was about a year and a half ago at a real estate meeting for Realty World agents.  Leaving that night, I had such a positive attitude, it was incredible.  Unfortunately, my attitude isn’t always positive, which is my fault.  Isn’t that right?  I realize these things, but have trouble practicing them.

          I would be interested in receiving the first chapter of your book.  I know reading anything written by you would be a real “feel-good.”  Keep up your good work.  You’re terrific!

                                                  Signed,

                                                  Real Estate Agent

          Please understand, I wrote this book back in the 1980s and at the time I was playing the role as a Professional Hypnotist at the South Texas Medical Center in San Antonio.  I used the word Hypnosis because that is what people wanted to hear.  They wanted to be Hypnotized. It just did not happen.  Like I said in the beginning of this web edition of my book, you can fool the Subconscious Mind into believing anything unless there is strong information already buried in the memory bank.  To overcome that old strong information that was not true, I had to develope a style and technique and come up with a ton of information that was true so that the client could be in charge of his/her own success, health and happiness.  It turned out to be really simple stuff.  Now it is your turn to take care of you and your loved ones and teach only the truth about how the mind interacts with the body.  That is my goal in life now.  I want to teach the people of the world what I found to be true and I sure could use your help.

 

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The Final Revelation